Return of Mr Stay Puft
by UnstableUniverses
Summary: The Ouran High School Host Club is trapped in the body of the Stay Puft marshmallow man. Will they be able to work together to stop the Ghostbusters before they are all killed? Written for the Unstable Universes podcast.


"Well boys. It looks like we have a real doozy on our hands," Venkman said.

"I'm so sorry I thought of him again," Ray whispered.

Ahead of them the Stay Puft Marshmallow man stomped his way across the well-manicured lawns of the private and prestigious Ouran Academy. The four Ghostbuster's stood on the balcony of the third music room. Behind them were the sounds of teenagers laughing and the soft clinking of china teacups against saucers. The high school students were still blissfully unaware of the impending doom slowly waddling towards them. Venkman had been excited about the idea of entering a high school with many beautiful and rich young girls. But seeing them in their disgusting yellow school uniforms killed his fantasy and shriveled his penis.

"Hey, are you in pain Venkman?" Wilson asked. The random addition to their team actually looked worried.

"Uh yeah, just thinking about upsetting things," Venkman responded.

"Well forget about it and focus of the problem at hand!" Spengler called; he had climbed the stone railing to get a better vantage point for the giant marshmallow.

The men raised their zappers, steadying them on the body of the white fluffy boy. When suddenly a bright flash of orange light lit of the sky temporarily blinding them. And a wind blew past stronger than any of them had ever experienced before, except for Wilson because he seems like someone who has seen many tornados. But this wind was so strong it blew all of them off their feet and into unconsciousness.

"Ugh," the small grunt came from the smallest member of the Ouran High School Host Club. Honey-senpai shook his head as he woke up. The last thing he could remember was the orange light and then nothing but darkness. When he opened his eyes he was horrified to find that he was floating out of his body and towards the face of a giant marshmallow creature! He whipped his head around in search of help, but all he saw was the floating spirits of his fellow club members, their eyes still closed. Honey screamed over and over in an attempt to wake up his friends, but they all remained blissfully asleep as one by one they entered the marshmallow man. The young looking senior was sucked into the puffy face and he found himself in a control room with motion capture wires stuck to his face.

"Takashi help! I don't know what's happening!" Honey screamed into the mic in front of him. He pulled at the wires attached to his face but it was no use, he could feel his skin ripping before he could feel the wires begin to give way.

"Honey," came a horribly boring and deadpan voice over the tiny speaker.

"Kauru?!" Hikaru's desperate voice came over the speaker as well, "where are you?!"

"I'm here Hikaru!" said an identical voice, and before long there were six voices yelling over each other.

"STOP," demanded Kyouya's voice. He clearly was not having any of this bullshit, "how are each of you tied up?"

"My face!" yelled Honey.

"My right leg," sobbed the king.

"My left arm," said Kauru.

"My right arm," Hikaru answered.

"My entire body," Haruhi responded in her usual emotionless voice.

"Ah," Mori sighed.

"Just as I figured, we are all in control of a different part of this beast, with the exception of Mori. It seems he's the hat for some reason. Probably because the author finds him extremely boring and doesn't want him in the story," Kyoya stroked his chin in thought. His left leg was held in a rigid metal cast.

"Ah," Mori agreed before sitting down in the corner facing the wall. He knew when he wasn't wanted, which was most of the time.

"Uhh guys, do you know what those weirdos over there are doing?" Kauru said.

"Oh Kauru! I miss you so much, are you doing okay?" his twin brother sobbed into the microphone. He wasn't used to being separated from the love of his life for so long.

"It's okay. Look we can high five each other!" Kauru chortled. Trying to show his brother that this could be fun, and that maybe being separated was okay sometimes.

"Oh my god Kauru this is amazing!" Hikaru laughed flailing his right arm out to the side.

"Look I can do that too!" Kauru cackled.

"No-" Kyouya was cut off as he flew into the air, the giant marshmallow body began to shake as both arms flailed out to either side like Jesus on Easter having a seizure. The host club screamed as the soft gelatin body connected with the ground.

"Oops," came an identical apology from the identical boys.

"You terrible boys almost hurt my daughter," came Tamaki's panicked voice, "Haruhi let daddy know if you're okay."

"Ugh" came Haruhi's response.

"How could you hurt my daughter? I'm going to come up there and kick your Asses," the king sobbed, he was filled with rage but had the emotional range of a child so instead of channeling that rage he just cried.

A laser shot by the face of the giant white cloud piercing his cute sailor hat.

"Ah," said Mori. His deadpan never changing despite part of his face bleeding profusely.

"That was a close call," yelled the twins in unison, unaware that the Ghostbusters had in fact hit one of their club mates and he was now bleeding to death slowly and painfully. Like when you try to kill a spider with an object that isn't quite flat, like maybe a pop can, so half of its body is squished and its writing around in pain but its too gross to look at so you don't finish it off.

Other pink CGI light beams flashed around Mr. Stay Puft. The club members thought to themselves how great it was that Egon had such terrible aim. Unfortunately the Ghostbusters were actually aiming at the marshmallow mans cute sailor hat and shooting even more holes in poor boring Mori.

"We need to tell these guys to stop!" Sobbed Tamaki, "they might hurt my beautiful daughter."

"Okay Suou calm down, we have to move together if we want to get to them." Kyoya said rubbing the bridge of his nose, "left leg."

All of the host club members plummeted downwards as both legs attempted to take a step forward.

"Suou what the fuck are you doing?" Kyoya demanded.

"I'm sorry I don't know my lefts from my rights. My darling, are you okay?" Tamaki sobbed.

"YES," Said both of the twins in an annoying monotone.

"Not you assholes!" he yelled back.

"Suou, you're right okay?" Kyoya said in an unusually calm manner. It seemed that his soul had left his body again; he could only deal with so much stupidity.

"Okay"

"Left leg," Kyoya said again, and once again both legs moved forward.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't actually paying attention," Tamaki sobbed again.

"Oh for fuck's sakes. Me!" Kyoya took one step forward, "you!" Tamaki took a step forward. "Me. You. Me. You."

They had finally figured out co-ordination of the legs, but the twins were still having a great time, high-fiving and flailing their arms. Honey in the meantime was stuffing his face with a bunch of snacks he pulled out of his ass, happy that Mori was not around to reprimand him. He probably wouldn't have been that happy if he knew that just above him Mori was laying in a crumpled heap slowly dying.

This combination of movements made for a very frightening image for the ghost busters. The giant stay puft marshmallow man taking slow but deliberate steps towards them, his hands flailing like rabid snakes and a gaping gob quickly opening and closing, the tongue doing somersaults within.

Ray screamed like a little bitch.

"He didn't do this last time we fought him," Egon said.

"Whatever. He should be weak enough that we can cross the streams and finish him off," said Winston.

"Let's do this boys," Venkman called. All the ghost exterminators set their guns to extra high and aimed.

"3-2-1 GO!" Came the countdown and the shitty CGI lasers fired. The beams crossed sending out pink, yellow and red sparks; the sky flashed a magnificent orange before everything went black.

The members of the Ouran High School Host Club (excluding Mori because he's dead) woke up in a puddle of white goop. But this time it was not copious amount of cum but copious amounts of marshmallow fluff. The Ghostbusters ran up.

"Were you guys in there the whole time?" Ray asked in horror.

"Yeah! It was awesome we controlled him and everything," laughed the twins.

"Oh Haruhi, tell daddy you're okay." Tamaki yelled holding the young girl to his breast. She desperately tried to get away but was a weak pathetic commoner.

This is when Honey noticed the crumpled body of Mori, he smirked, now nobody could stop him from eating all of this delicious sugar. He guzzled like a madman.

THE END


End file.
